This is my Mother’s Day love letter to my fellow moms. Celebrating the ugliness with the beautiful in 14 Ugly Truths About Parenting. This is a sponsored post. All mama bear opinions are my own.
14 Ugly Truths About Parenting
We don’t talk about the ugly side of parenting. We tend to focus on the positive. We share on social media the “highlights” of our lives. We always see the upside. We encourage and support the “other” struggling moms out there. But not us. We’ve got a handle on things.
But the truth is, parenting is ugly.
We don’t want to tell you about the days spent in a fetal position, crying our eyes out because we failed. We don’t want to admit that we have more faults than we can count. We don’t want to reveal the ugly truths about parenting. But we need to. Because sometimes the ugly truths about us are the most beautiful parts, the parts we need to celebrate. As Mother’s Day creeps closer, this is my love letter to my fellow moms out there. I’m celebrating my ugly with your ugly – because WE are beautiful.
No book will ever prepare you for the real thing. You can read up on every milestone your child “should” reach. You can get all of the self-help books on parenting and child behavior. You can become an expert on all things parenthood. But until you become one yourself,
Welcome to the hypocrites club. The be a parent is to constantly judge and be judged. As much as I’d like to say that I don’t judge my fellow moms, if you look deep in my heart you’ll see that it’s not true. We judge what moms where, how they act, how they parent, how they don’t parent,
You will change, in more ways than one. There will be parts of yourself that you will miss. Old friends will fall away. You may not like the way your body has changed (like that baby gut) or the person you’ve become. And you will at times feel lost in your identity – clinging to the past while searching for your future. Being a parent will change you, period.
Lying to your child is inevitable. Even if it’s a small white lie. I’ve told my preschooler that they didn’t have cookies at Publix just last week so I could get my shopping done faster. There are days when those lies stab you in the heart. And there are days when you instantly brush them off and move on. But lies are a part of parenthood. They are.
As aware and focused as you are, you will have a parenting blind spot for your child. This one hurts, because it really hits home with me. As pediatric nurse, I am expected to know what to do in a child crisis situation. And the day that my daughter had a seizure at a theme park, all nursing skills went out the window. I was screaming, scared, unable to move of breathe – because I was her parent first, nurse second. We think we’re doing what’s best – but it’s a whole different ballgame when we are their parents.
Some days will be purely about survival. There will be more bad days than good, days when you’re counting down the hours and minutes until bedtime.
There will be days that you HATE being a parent. You will feel like the role you always wanted isn’t as fulfilling as the job description described.
Being overwhelmed to UGLY tears is normal. If I admitted all of the times that I cried as a parent, I’d probably have enough tears to fill a swimming pool. Parenting is hard. Some days it’s the hardest job in the world. And tears are an extension of the emotion, turmoil, passion and anguish that comes with that job title. And yes, they’re always ugly tears.
You won’t like your child everyday. Emphasis on the L I K E. Kids can be little pieces of *insert word of choice* sometimes and I will be the first to admit that there are days when I don’t like my kids. And that’s really really hard to admit that truth. My kids aren’t perfect and they will do things that aggravate me and push my buttons to no end.
And your child will certainly break your heart, often. “I hate you, Mommy.” Oh how those words can break my spirit in an instant. It has happened before and it will happen again. The loves of your life will break you again and again and again. Lord, give me strength for those teenager years.
You will fail. We won’t say the right thing. We won’t make good decisions. We will have regrets. But it will be ok.
Not all parenting advice is the same. And knowing the difference between the good advice and the not-so-good advice can help you deal with the overwhelming ugly truths about parenting. My fellow KnowYourOTCs parents and I shared some retro vs. modern parenting advice we have received over the years. Check out the video above to see what bad advice I even received over the years and more about:
- Safe medicine dosing when treating kids – Emphasize the importance of being precise with the right device when giving kids over-the-counter (OTC) medicine and never ever using a kitchen spoon. Always use the measuring device that comes with the packaging. Head to the Know Your OTCs website to get more safe medicine dosing tips for parents.
- Sunscreen – After a prolonged winter and unusually chilly spring, the warmer weather has finally arrived across much of the country…for more tips on keeping your family safe from the sun this spring and summer, visit KnowYourOTCs.org.
- Sleep Routines – From newborn babies through the teen years – sleep schedules and sleep routines can be a challenge – and as parents – we all just want a nice, peaceful, uninterrupted night of sleep! Something you deserve beyond just Mother’s Day and Father’s Day! Get tips on how to tackle sleep challenges for kids at any age, along with helpful reminders on how many hours of sleep kids need at different ages.
With all of the “amazing” and not-so-amazing parenting advice out there, you know so much more than you think. I appreciated my parents 1000% more after becoming a parent myself. We have a blueprint. We have gut instinct. We know our kids more than any other person in the world. And we have each other – that parenting bond is strong, especially on those really tough days.
Someday, you will laugh. It’s just may not be today. Those really hard tear-jerking days? You’ll remember those. The days when you’re crying and they’re crying and the house is a mess and your hair hasn’t been washed in a week and you can’t remember the last time you saw a glimpse of hope. And days maybe even years from now, you’ll be able to look back and laugh. If it’s not today, it’s ok.
But that love, time, sacrifice and hard work will all be worth it. Why do we keep raising tiny humans? Why do we keep going through these tough motions everyday? Why do we jump headfirst into parenting? Because it’s one of the greatest, most rewarding joys in life. I was created to be a mom – with all of the ugly truths about parenting that comes with it.
Sending my love to all of my fellow moms out there, with the good, the bad and the ugly truths about parenting. You’ve got this. Happy Mother’s Day.
I am a #KnowYourOTCs blogging ambassador, compensated by the CHPA’s Educational Foundation in support of KnowYourOTCs.org. All opinions are my own. Be sure to follow Raising Whasians via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube for more family tips, delicious recipes, and kid crafts.