10 Things My Daughter Does To Give Me A Heart Attack Every Day
I had my son, and I was totally prepared. “A boy is going to give your gray hair” they said. “A boy is going to send you to the hospital at least once a month” they said. “You won’t be able to keep up with a crazy boy” they said. Instead I got a cuddly, sweet, calm boy. Sure, he has his moments, but overall he is an amazing, smart child that is the PERFECT 1st child.
Then I had my daughter.
I was prepared for meltdowns, drama and piercing screams. But what I never thought I’d ever get is the heart attack everyday. Yes, everyday, this child has at least one incident that has me questioning my parenting skills, wondering if a hospital is required, or how many extra gray hairs I will receive today. The world of toddlerhood never ceases to amaze me. My daughter is definitely one of a kind…the one that keeps me on my toes, at the edge of my seat and helps to keep my mind sharp every day.
And in honor of her and her ability to surprise me with something frantically incredible daily….I bring your my list of 10 things my daughter does to give me a heart attack every day. So pull up a chair, laugh, cry and hold my hand.
1. Perform stealthy acrobatic climbing abilities to the top of the couch, then somehow become the biggest klutz alive and fall off
2. Ingestion of a random bug – which causes mommy to scream as I gag and quickly scrape her mouth of anything crunchy.
3. Attempt to unlock the door and run into traffic
4. The massive WWIII poop to end all poops…just the smell alone gives me palpitations. And she has recently discovered how to dig inside….GROSS! And you thought a boy was bad!
5. Taking the child lock off the bathroom cabinet….that contains daddy’s razors. HOLY MOLY how does she do this?!
6. The mystery chipmunk cheeks….you never know what you’ll find inside
7. Daily dip in the toilet
8. Touching me with icy cold fingers from the drink she just spilled on the floor – CHILLS (and more palpitations)
9. Testing out her new tooth that came in….on my leg
10. That laugh…you know, the sinister one that leaves you wondering what she possibly did that you are completely unaware of. The laugh that leaves you immediately checking all of the above items to make sure you didn’t miss one of your other heart attacks of the day