Being adopted is a really important part of my history. It’s a part I am super proud of, and I love sharing my story. Over my many years, I’ve been asked quite a few questions about my adoption. One of those burning questions I get all of the time, even now is “Do you want to meet your birth parents?”
We live in a world of “I must know.” If you have the answers, you’d better be talking. Think about your own past. Wouldn’t you want to know all about your parents? How they met, what they were like, what genes they passed to you?
It’s been hard at times to fill in those empty holes. The family tree project ends up with only me. I can’t tell my doctor my family medical history or risk factors. I don’t know if I get my snarky comments from my dad or my introvert nature from my mom.
And the fact is, I knew very little about my birth parents. They were young teenagers, about 16-17 years old at the time. A baby in their lives was not an option. BUT I knew they had to be smart, because instead of abortion, they chose LIFE.
So many questions unanswered.
Which brings me to today. Now as adult, a wife and a parent, “Do I want to meet my birth parents?” My answer would simply be no.
I think meeting them now would only drudge up painful memories for them, maybe tears, regret, anger. I would feel perhaps an obligation to keep in touch, keep the relationship going, perhaps have them be long distance “grandparents” to my kids….and I wouldn’t want that awkward connection.
My only regret would be not telling them Thank You. Thank you for giving me a chance. Thank you for giving me the life I didn’t earn. For loving me enough to bring me into this world and then let me go. Thank you for starting my life out on an amazing journey with a story to tell. Thank you for giving me hope and a future.
If my birth parents ever get to read this….Thank you.
Want to learn more about my adoption story? Check out my posts HERE and HERE.