13 Things I Want to Tell My Teething Baby at 3 am
My baby is Still. Not. Sleeping. Every night, she gets up at least once, almost always twice. And while I love her to the end of the earth….I need just a few minutes of sarcasm and humor to get me through this tough stage of life. And since I’m feeling a little “unlucky,” I thought the number 13 was appropriate.
1. You think teething is bad. Wait until you have a period every month.
2. Just wait until you’re a teenager
3. You know, I totally didn’t need that extra 4 hours of sleep. You’re right, I work better on only 3 hours and coffee.
4. I’m so glad you woke up to sing me a lullaby tonight. You’re so thoughtful
5. I’m sure that God is getting a good laugh right now
6. Yeah, I knew I had it too easy with my first. I definitely needed a challenge
7. So if you could tell your knifing teeth to stop knifing my sleep for a little while, that would be great.
8. Only 14 more teeth to go…no problem
9. Wouldn’t it be great if they made a baby sedative? Yeah, I know. We can dream.
10. You are the reason I have gray hair…and bags under my eyes…and wrinkles. Thanks.
11. Ok, I’m sorry I didn’t cuddle you enough today.
12. I won’t tell Daddy that you decided to sleep now. It’ll be our little secret.
13. Let’s make a deal…I’ll trade you 1 lollipop, 5 strawberries and a sugar cookie for an extra 2 hours of sleep.
What would you tell your baby at 3 am?