Forgiving the Worst Person
You know that person.
The one that calls you ugly. Tells you that you’re never going to be good enough. Boasts how no one loves you. Jabs you with snide remarks and putdowns. Reminds your of past mistakes and memories you’d like to forget.
And this person does this to me everyday.
I am the worst person when it comes to me. I am my worst enemy. I beat myself up. I tell myself that “I can’t.” I encourage myself to stay down, stay hidden. Who would want to hang out with me? Why should I love my job and try to be good at it? Who would think that you’re pretty? You can never achieve your dreams.
I am the worst version of myself. And it’s horrible! I can’t seem to turn off the switch. It’s a poison that I keep drinking.
That insecure part of me hopes that someone else will prove her wrong. That there is something worth loving. That someone will destroy my fears and come be my hero.
Realizing that I have family, friends and a God that loves me as me has been an important step in my journey to find self-worth. And as easy as it is for me to forgive others, I need to learn to forgive that worst person in my life….ME.
How do I change my negative thoughts about myself? I need to forgive. I need to heal. I need to start over.
So, I forgive me for many years of tears, suffering, and frail self-esteem. I forgive that ugly part of me that wants to destroy my value. I am worth more. I am worth better.
One foot forward. One more positive thought. One more smile. One more day with my head held high. I am my best friend and cheerleader. I can achieve anything! I can forgive.